Heracles and the Hot Pudding

We've just had our Christmas Lunch here at work. A rather tepid affair in the staff restaurant. We have two sittings, so are herded through like lightning with no real opportunity to relax and socialise. Mediocre pate or french onion soup, followed by roast turkey (or veggie bake) and all the trimmings, Christmas pudding, mince pies and coffee. A single glass of wine. All downed in under 45 minutes.

My cracker "present" was a plastic moustache - the sort that pinches your nose between the nostrils. I really am wearing it as I write this.
My paper hat was green with square "battlements" around the crown.
My "joke" was "What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?... Lost!"

However, the highlight was Julian being dared to eat his whole Christmas pudding in one mouthful. Only an idiot would accept the challenge: the pudding was steaming with heat, covered in hot and sickly brandy sauce, and clearly just too big to fit in one's mouth.

Julian accepted the task, and with some help from my boss - who initiated the dare - managed to crush the pudding in his great maw. Within microseconds his eyes were red and bulging. They began to water. His cheeks were flushed and rosy. Bits of pudding and sauce residue were caked about his gob. He gagged slighty and had the haunted look of a man frantically trying not to be sick. His twisted visage put me right off my pudding.

It took him two minutes to finally gulped down the stodge, but all credit to Julian, he didn't vomit or spit it out.

He smiled like he'd completed one of the Twelve Labors of Heracles.

Although he's a fool, you can't help but admire his child-like simplicity at times.

We'll have him cutting off Gorgan heads and taming wild winged horses in no time.

Jingle Jangle

I was on an Access training course yesterday. Whist the tutor was demonstrating a little trick on my PC, one of my colleagues - Blog Extra Man - came and stood next to me. His pocket was level with my ear, so when he started jangling the loose change in his pocket, I was irritated. After two minutes of "jingle, jangle" I was getting pissed off, so was happy when the tutor announced a coffee break.

Sipping my cup of coffee in the reception area, I spied a little book perched on top of a book shelf. The Little Book of Chaos. I opened it at the following page / suggestion on how to get people to kill you:

Jingle Jangle
When talking to people, continously jangle the loose change in your pockets.

I did my best put-on-laugh and passed the book - straight faced - to Blog Extra Man. Unfortunately he didn't get it, and the rest of the afternoon was interspersed with the soft jingle of fifty pence pieces in grey slacks.





The Wedding

Loch Awe should be renamed Loch Awe Some. As should the beautiful Loch Lommond. Quite why people are flying halfway around the world to go and see Lord of the Rings scenery in New Zealand when there is equally stunning scenery in Scotland, I don't know... Our drive from Glasgow Airport up to Taynuilt was spectacular, and we are likely to return in the future. People say that the Lake District is the most stunning countryside in the UK - I'm not so sure.

Nina and Craig's wedding was fantastic. The ceremony was great, the setting was amazing, the food top-notch and the company excellent. I shall return to it in more detail for you over the coming days.

A cool teaser shall have to suffice for now:

The two violinists who played the Christmas carols (sung in the ceremony) were on tour with Moby.