In the shadows

There seems little doubt that Maddy McCann is dead. You have to hope otherwise, but reality bites down hard. With India only being a few months younger than Maddy, it's been particularly distressing for us to guess at how both her parents must be feeling, and most horrifically, the fear and terror Maddy must have felt during her kidnap and ordeal. We know how India would have reacted, and it doesn't bear thinking about.

But it's very difficult not to think, especially when your daughter bears a passing resemblence to the missing girl. There was a moment last week on holiday when India and I got out of the apartment block swimming pool (imagine my toned body raising from the water like Craig whatsisname in Casino Royale) and I quickly wrapped India up in her Jedi-style wearable towel. A German lady, who had not seen us before, caught my eye -- she was staring at India. Really staring. And it occurred to me that she was thinking "is that Maddy?!".

And it certainly affected our behaviour whilst away, especially Vic's: she was even concerned about leaving the children by themselves in the apartment room next door to where we were sat outside with my mum and dad. 5 yards. Within earshot and in visuals.


I hope they get the bastards who did it and the McCann's get some proper closure.

I really hope Maddy's still out there unharmed.

Wasteland

I decided to drop the Wonderful World title. One it's naff and two the world isn't wonderful. Apart from the Mrs Nob, the Little Nobbies, and our extended families & friends, lighting up my personal world, the wider world is starting to look like a wasteland rather than the green and pleasant meadows of Oxfordshire, as my dear departed grandparents perceived our environment. I shall elaborate further over the next few days, but to give a clue to my increasing obsession and paranoia, when I do my daily commute to Slough, I'm now seeing the folly of our human behaviour. The single occupancy cars that sit idling in traffic jams are becoming increasingly sinister to my green eyes. Cars full of doomgoblins destroying my wonderful world -- and I am part of the problem.

Dunlop Green Flash

I bought some canvas shoes for our week's holiday in Spain. Last pair of canvas shoes I had were red Converse high-tops back in 1987. Bring the noise. Shows things go round in fads and circles.

I've been in a fad-ish mood lately. Things go in and out of interest for me quite quickly. Not the important things in life -- the Nobby Family and chocolate* for example -- but the little things, the stuff in the background, the 'nobby hobbies'.

Some elaboration on the ins and outs:

1) Blogging. Not been interested in mine or anyone else's for months. Have just discovered that two of my old regulars have a) visited the UK from the States last month (and were within striking distance for a pint of Sheep Dip at least 4 times) and b) been blogging about Oxford United all last season. Anyway, I've subtly changed the colour scheme to raspberry pink (India's favourite colour is pink. What a surprise!), added a list, and even added a photo of the two Little Nobbies digging for gold/oil/dead bodies/fag ends/dog shit on the beach in L'Escala**.

2) Online Poker. I was loving this for ages and at low stakes tables increased my original bank-roll by 2000% (oh yes!). But then they changed the site, I starting losing interest, and I started losing games (30% of that 2000% killed). We cleared most of my account out to help pay the grocery bill last month, and I'm just not enthused anymore. Of course, Vic will be pleased as she -- and probably most of our friends -- still reckons I am just a few games away from a highly dangerous gambling addiction. Clearly, I am not...

3) Magic. Went back and played a night of it. Thought the organiser was a complete tool. Told him so. Never been back to that night or any other. Tried playing it online, but realised that half the fun of it, like any other competitive activity, is the social contact with friends. All packed in. I can't be bothered with it anymore and don't miss it a jolt. Freedom!

4) PS2. Having bought a load of great games two years ago, I'm conscious that I should be getting my money's worth, so the PS2 has been dusted off for some occasional action. Difficult to fit in with the kids, but a beam of light is beginning to shine, as India is becoming interested in computers and video games. Disney Golf and Buzz! Jungle Party are the doors to a future of her and Elliot getting their arses firmly spanked on vg consoles by their Competitive Dad.

Things I need to blog:

India: Angel or Devil?
Elliot: Not a Baby Anymore.
Looming Mid-Life Crisis: What we are going to do with our life in terms of next house and job moves.
Vic's freelancing.
We have negative money syndrome.
Oxford United: Stuck in the BSP for another two years.


* put that in for the ladies.
** they found fuck all, but at least Elliot enjoyed eating the sand.