Good Dog, Bad Man

I did a bad thing this morning. Something I feel absolutely terrible about. I have a nasty feeling at the back of my mind that my inaction may have resulted in a fatality, and assoicated heartache, for a family.

On my way to work through the village of Postcombe, the traffic came to a sudden halt in the rain. A little doggy was scampering in the middle of the road. It was clearly young, excited and confused - it looked as if it had just escaped from its owners house or car and didn't know what it was going to do next.

I should have stopped, gathered the little pup up in my arms and delivered it to the local village shop / garage, where it would have been safe. The shop owner might well have known who the doggy belong to. This is what the dog's owner would have wanted me to do. It would have been the right thing to do.

Instead I did the wrong thing. Someone behind me in the queue of traffic pipped their horn - either to get the dog out of the road or to hurry us drivers up. Whatever the reason, it jolted me along, and I followed the car in front like a sheep.

For the next ten minutes, every turning I passed, I felt I should be swinging the car around to go back and find the dog. But I didn't. I just kept on driving.

I feel disappointed in myself. I've let the dog and its owner down. I've let myself down. I just hope the dog's ok and reunited with its family. I feel guilty enough already, but if I see a dead dog on the road going home this afternoon, I don't know want I'm going to...

I'm literally praying for that doggy and I'm vowing never to drive on past ever again.

The World's A Stage

We're back from the Inlaws. I could give you a full report on things, but Scott's already posted up his take on things (nicely done too), so I'll skip the details.

I will say that although I spent the majority of the time up there locked in a tiny room with my head in my books, it wasn't until I strolled into work this morning that I realised how energising a few days away from the office can be. I feel refreshed and full of spunk. I give it two days before this Well of Chi is drained by the leeches here at work.

As Scott points out, Emma has foolishly asked me if I'd like to write her a school play about WWII. Taking Sheila Starline's advice that one should never turn down such an opportunity, I've jumped at the chance, especially as the Second World War is one of my specialist subjects. I can't decide to go for the epic approach - a complete run through of all the major events of the conflict - or focus in on a single, smaller episode, with a human story / tragedy - i.e. a more humanistic approach.

The epic route has its appeal. Having a dozen kids running about on stage, with their arms flung horizontal to their bodies, screaming "neeeee-owwwww" and "badda badda badda!", could be a cheap and very effective way of recreating the Battle of Britain.

Problems that we may need to overcome:
1) Political Correctness: Dangerous ground getting kids to dress up as Nazis. Add in the Final Solution and how to deal with it sensitively and appropriately, and we have a cocktail of extremely difficult issues to contend with.
2) Parental Response: I will probably need to cast a Hitler and a Stalin. As a parent, how would you feel about Little Johnny playing HItler in the school play?

I will want to add some songs too. Classic war songs should do the trick. If you know any - other than "...the other is in the Albert Hall!" - let me know.

This project is on ice until December.


Setting A Trend

Simon's posted up the best referral search to his blog. He is number one for "gay beefeaters in uniforms" apparently. A good effort at trying to usurp the crazies who have found my Wonderful World through nutty searches, but it crumbles to dust in the face of this little gem:

"I had a dream last night that someone cooked a dog and put the whole dog on a plate with scramb[led eggs]"

A nice short concise search that one...

We also have:

Ikea Snake (possibly a reader testing me out)
Email Ikea
Table tennis twiddling learning
Optician Halloween (?)
Halloween image lady table window soldier (??)
Wonderful pregnancy
What do you predict may happen in the High Street over the next ten years
Giant chimney sweeps website

Clearly I am now a great source of information for those who are pregnant, those who need retail investment advice, people with massive chimneys, and Koreans.

The Training Camp

No updates for a few days because I've been residing at my training camp (aka The Inlaws) up in Carlisle, revising and preparing for my CIMA exams. Scott has this image that its like the forest-dwelling shack in Rocky 4, and I'm focussed like the big Rocky man himself.

Funnily enough, I'm writing this blog entry in a wooly hat after hours of sit ups and running miles through the trees. Sweat's pouring off of me, but I'm ready to crush those Commie exam invigilator bastards if its the last thing I do... Their defeat could well be the catalyst in breaking the whole Soviet-style CIMA global state apart.

Just stop Apollo from taking the exam before me.


The Prediction Was 66% Correct

The prediction was:

"We're bound to lose 1-0 to a last minute penalty, after a terrible game, and thoroughly lacklustre Oxford performance. It will rain and be bloody chilly too."

1-0 loss. Terrible game. Lacklustre Oxford performance. It pissed it down too. I should do horoscopes.