Heave Tally Ho

JT is a fox, so he must be happy at the news that the House of Commons has at last voted to ban fox hunting in England. I know I am. Unnecessary, barbaric and cruel, it serves no purpose other than to provide toffs with a leisure pursuit.

I've heard arguments such as "We need to hunt foxes to protect our lambs and chickens.... if you've ever seen what a fox does to a coop of chickens, you'll know what we mean!".

My retort: "Instead of spending all that money on purchasing and maintaining a horse, its gear and your fancy riding boots and red hunting jackets, why don't you protect your chickens by investing in a new fox-proof fence."

"But's its traditional!"

"And so was bear-baiting, denying women the vote, stoning people to death, and persecuting Jews."

"But hunting supports the whole economy of rural life!"

The pro-hunt protesters and Chessex Girls lobbying outside Parliament undermined themselves on TV by flashing their Harvey Nichs bags. They were clearly all from Chelsea and Knightsbridge, and the only time they'd ever been near a chicken was at The Ivy or Harrods foodhall.

Congratulations to our MPs: Welcome to the 21st Century.