Better News

We've received an offer on our house this lunch time. A low offer, but it's proceedable and from a serious buyer. We also have a third viewing booked in tomorrow from the girl who offered on day 1 of the house going on the market. She's still looking and keen. Fingers crossed we'll get another grand or two on the offers, then it will be back to the stress of waiting to exchange. The good news is that although it's going to costs us, we shouldn't lose the house we're buying.


Ainsley Harriot's Cup Soup is Crap

I wrote a letter to Ainsley today. Once I find his address, I'll be posting it to him. can you spot which bits are serious and which are not?! His wife is called Clare btw. Silvana is his food stylist.


Dear Ainsley,

I think you are a marvellous man and love your food. I own all of your cookbooks and use them everyday. I particularly enjoy putting your barbecue recipes into practice. There’s nothing like giving your meat a good spicy rub before sticking it on hot coals.

However, my wife says I’m a bit fat, so I’m off the pork chops and sausages and eating low fat food. I’m also taking sandwiches to work for lunch, but like you, I’m a big chap and they don’t really fill me up. In desperation, I’ve turned to cup soups. Normally I like Batchelors Chicken Noodle Cup a Soup, but during my weekly visit to Asda last week, I spotted your handsome face on a different brand and decided to purchase your Ainsley Harriott Wonderfully Wild Mushroom Cup Soup. We all like a nice drop of soup don’t we, and I noticed from the packaging that your Wonderfully Wild Mushroom Cup Soup is low in fat and therefore perfect for my diet.

I made up the soup according to the instructions on the packaging and was looking forward to having my tastebuds tickled by "the most sensational cup soup we’ve ever created!"

Frankly Ainsley, I was very disappointed by the soup. It’s like sludge. All starchy and with no taste. I asked my colleague at work what flavour she thought it was and she said asparagus, because it smelt of earth. She is German. I have analysed the ingredients and was shocked to discover that there is more Suzy salt and sugar in the product than mushrooms and cream, despite the fact the packaging calls the soup "dreamy creamy".

I feel like you’ve personally let me down Ainsley. This soup is dreadful and undeserving of your beautiful face adorning it. Even the recipe idea – which I can’t tell if you have endorsed or not – for steak sauce made from two sachets of the soup is crap. All of your fans will be weeping into their cups whilst this Cup a Sludge is still on the market.

In the meantime, I wish you and your lovely wife Silvana well. I watched Silvana on The Best and thought she was scrummy! Please could you send me a signed photo of you and her together, so I can hang it in my kitchen and gain inspiration from it.

Yours sincerely,
Nobby